Soapbox

A woman has come forward and alleged that, when he was in high school, Supreme Court nominee (and guy who gave me the skeevs the first time I saw him) Brett Kavanaugh assaulted her. 
And the entire country knows- that won't matter.

Mere sexual assault? He only held her down, covered her mouth with his hand and tried to rip her clothes off? Pffff.
51 U.S. senators would vote to confirm Kavanaugh if it came out he’d been imprisoning a woman in his toolshed since 1996!
~ Susan Collins would nod her head sympathetically- and then vote with the party.
~ Jeff Flake and Ben Sasse would write front page op-eds condemning him for kidnapping and sexual slavery, and then vote to confirm 24 hours later.
~ Donald Trump would spend a week attacking the kidnapped woman on social media. 
~ Melania would visit three elementary schools that same week with an anti-bullying message.
~ Paul Ryan would make a brief statement about the president’s tweets, noting that he had no reason to doubt the woman’s story that she had been kept against her will in the tool shed for 22 years, and then he would slowly drift away, like an escaped balloon." 
~ FOX would call her "No Angel", discuss her frequent detentions in HS and a speeding ticket in 2004.
~ Giuliani would insist that letting a woman live in your toolshed isn't really a crime, and lots of folks do it.
~ Newt Gingrich would remind us that Bill Clinton lied about having sex, so 'both sides'.
~ Lindsey Graham would say that he hadn't actually seen the tool shed so he has no opinion on the issue.
~ Lou Dobbs would suggest that the democrats put that toolshed in Kavanaugh's yard so they could keep him off the court 20 years later.
~ Megyn Kelly would suggest that maybe the woman was actually stalking Kavanaugh and chose to lock herself in the tool shed to be near her.