Soapbox

    Poor Republicans! They started out so strong this week, with a new scandal with which  to attack Obama nearly every day! You could just tell they believed they could sail that ship all the way to victory in 2016 and maybe even pick up an impeachment along the way! But by the weekend, the wind had gone somewhat out of their sails.

     First, there was Benghazi, which Dick "What World Trade Center?" Cheney called 'the worst tragedy in his lifetime'. In Act 1, Hillary Clinton was accused of lying to congress about it- but that accusation was proven to be a lie. (Congress lying about someone lying to congress apparently is not the crime that lying to congress is. Yes, I know it's complicated, but do try to keep up!) 
    When the curtain went up on Act 2, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Ambassador Pickering were accused of being part of the 'cover-up' and refusing to testify!  Gasp! Now surely that subversion of democracy will draw some blood!  And perhaps it would have, but both men came forward and explained that, far from refusing to testify before the House Committee on Un-Republican Activities, the committee chairman was actually  refusing to let them testify in open session. He would only agree to meet with them in private chambers, because he realized that they were not planning to say what he wanted America to hear.
     But the big finale, the last nail in the Obama terrorist-loving coffin was going to be those White House e-mails that clearly showed a concerted effort to get the Benghazi lies straight before public statements were made. And they were pretty damning!
     Too bad they were fake.
     In a single day, Benghazi-gate turned into Benghazi-gate-gate when it came out that someone in the GOP altered the White House e-mails and released "quotes' from them to ABC News that were not quotes at all. When the actual e-mails were examined they were found to pretty much back up what Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and the people involved in this sad incident have been saying all along.  Bummer, guys. Looks like your grand production may close in reviews.
    Still, do not despair, scandal-hungry Republicans! Beacuse there is a Benghazi  scandal after all!  You should assemble another committee, convene more hearings, pound the table and demand to know- Who in the Republican party lied to the American people and why did they think they would get away with it??? Ah, but I'm guessing you may not want to talk about those e-mails any more.

     And as if that wasn't enough bad news, their big IRS scandal began to fizzle too. Turns out that while the IRS did violate their standard procedure when deciding that the Tea Party groups applying for tax exempt status should get some extra hoops to jump through first,  they did not target only the Tea Party, or only conservative groups. Nor in the end did they deny any of those groups tax exempt status. So while clearly some shake-ups are in order at the IRS, the poor, martyred Tea Party turns out NOT to have quite the nail holes in their hands and feet that they would like you to think they have.
    Tempest- meet Tea Party Pot.

    But John Boehner's marching orders have come down from the Heritage Foundation!! Regardless of how badly the American people need for Congress to get something done– his #1 job is to attack!
     Do NOT allow anything to come to a vote that might show a difference of opinion among Republicans, he was told. Stall, stall and stall! This really plays to his strength because he's quite skilled at the art of getting nothing done! Focus instead on the 'troubling issues'  facing the President.
   Ah yes, the 'troubling issues'. The manufactured outrage by people who have all but admitted that they don't really intend to do any actually governing in the next 3 years- who have spent the entire Obama presidency so far focused like a laser on rape (it's not such a bad thing, ladies! ) abortion (its a very bad thing, you sluts!) denying global climate change (a total hoax which only  98% of the scientific community says is real but who ya gonna believe- a bunch of liberal scientists or CPAC?) and people using unemployment benefits to buy drugs (We're sure you're out there though we haven't actually  located any of you yet!). And of course blocking an energy bill, blocking a jobs bill, blocking an education bill, blocking the Violence Against women Act… you see the theme.
     Well, it seems the entire Republican party has decided switch professions this week and become pushers instead of legislators. And the high they are pushing? Hate, scandal and off-with-his-head anger.

    Just think for a moment: if the GOP had passed even one jobs bill, or offered  a budget that didn't tax the poor to help the rich, they could be out there today bragging to their constituents about the news that the deficit is shrinking faster than predicted and the stock market is up!
    Instead, they are frantically setting their hair on fire, trying to keep us from noticing these disturbing developments. They cannot afford to let anything good to happen to America while the dark-skinned guy is in office.

    As Bill Maher said; at some point, obstruction becomes treason.

     So forget about the closed schools and un-inspected food, and unsafe bridges; forget about the clogged courts because we refuse to approve any judicial nominees and about the veterans languishing without their promised benefits and the folks whose unemployment has run out…
    No, seriously-  please, forget about those things. Because we intend to do nothing about them.
    Please talk about this umbrella instead.

Wait- no, not that umbrella… this one!

     Yes, the latest "We've got to hate Obama about something!" talking point is that image of Obama making an outdoor address while a Marine holds an umbrella over his head. No, I am not making this up.
    The question conservative bloggers and idio- I mean pundits are asking is: what kind of elitist, socialist Muslim, gun-stealing dictator would have someone else hold his umbrella??!

     Sarah Palin tweeted her outrage about this, even as someone found a picture of her climbing down from her airplane with an assistant holding an umbrella over her head. And of course others turned up of Bush 1 and Bush 2 and Clinton doing the same thing.
     Oopsy.

     Dear right-wing scandal addicts:
           It's called "Protocol".  And really, you're talking about a man who has a jumbo transport plane to fly his own ambulance and limousine wherever he travels, who has entire teams of people that swarm all over a town days in advance, inspecting every house and building that looks out over where the president will be!
      Getting upset about the ' elitist entitlement' of having a marine hold his umbrella while he's speaking in the rain is like being outraged that they play "Hail to the Chief" before he walks into a room.
     What kind of a dictator-thug has his own song that people have to play for him every time he walks in?!?!

      Well let's see… professional wrestlers… and the President of the f**king United States, you pea-brains!!
      Now stop wasting our time and go do your jobs!