Archive for April, 2011

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~Bleeeep!~

    I heard a great poem last night at the Grand Slam called "What (the N-word) Sounds like". The point it made was- it sounds like "birth certificate".

    Really. That puts it all in perspective. And should you find that just a bit too harsh- oh come on, they're not necessarily all racists!  I offer this.
     The release yesterday of Barack Obama's actual long-form birth certificate satisfied the concerns of approximately eleven people on the political right. The rest of them immediately moved on to more fertile conspiracy territory: it must be fake!
    This is just a photograph of the certificate, after all: unless we can hold the original in our hands we won't believe that it isn't a forgery.
Uh huh. And unless I get to actually stand on the moon I refuse to believe that it isn't made of green cheese! Do not be fooled America!
     But the clearest proof of what that word "birth certificate" really means in the minds of the doubters comes from the megalomaniac in chief himself- Donald Trump. What is Trump's latest "trumped-up" controversy that must be looked into- his latest reason why we cannot trust this man who is president?

  Barack Obama got into Harvard.

     You see, Trump knows lots of smart rich kids who didn't get into Harvard THEREFOR there must be something sinister and un-American about an obviously talentless kid like Obama making the grade. And that sinister force is: Affirmative Action.
     So sinister, in fact, that the latest Republican "Jobs? We don't need no stinkin' jobs!" bill, on the schedule for voting in several states, is to OUTLAW Affirmative Action. 
  How dare those kids that we relegate to crappy inner city schools with overcrowded classrooms, outdated books and no lunch- those kids who sometimes get shot at on the way to school but manage to get good grades anyway and dream as big as "regular folk" – how dare they get a nod and a chance when it comes to college admission?

    Hell. Affirmative Action- that's not even a code word. We have always known what that means! It's white oppression, baby!  It means giving college admission spots, and then- gasp!- jobs, to brown people instead of white ones! It's a direct assault on Caucasian Exceptionalism, which for many people is the founding principle of this nation.

To Trump and to the lowest common denominator he panders to,  there is something fundamentally untrustworthy about our president. It's not  where Obama was born, or where he went to school, or who he played basketball with or what college he attended. (Harvard turned Trump down, by the way. I'm just pointing that out)  He's just… different. Alien. His skin is brown, and Trump doesn't trust anyone who's skin isn't orange, like his.

    Today in America, the N-word  sounds just like "Birth Certificate". It sounds like "Affirmative Action" too. We need to start bleeping both of those words on TV now, if you ask me.

Posted by Tracy on Apr 28th 2011 | Filed in The Daily Rant | Comments (0)

Alienation of Affection

I had an argument with God today,
really went off on him
told him I am sick and tired of the way he always says he’s gonna do stuff
and never comes through.
He completely ignored me, as usual.
I swear we have the most dysfunctional relationship.
I am always either professing unending devotion
or vowing to end the relationship forever…
and he just pays no attention either way.
 
My friends all tell me that I’m over-reacting.
They’re sure he really loves me-
they read that love letter he wrote,
but I say, the proof is in the pudding and I’m not getting fed.
And it’s not like I’m asking him for a diamond ring and a new Mercedes-
not like that Hedge Fund bitch he’s been showering with gifts.
I just asked him to stop dicking around with the people I love most,
stop pulling the rug out from under someone who is doing everything right
and still getting the world’s door slammed in his face.
But as usual, I got the usual impenetrable, inscrutable silence
as he sipped his coffee and perused the day’s headlines.
 
So I said, Oh hey, nice work, by the way, in Ivory Coast
yeah, I can see you’ve been busy there and in Fukyshima
but could you possibly take your eye off the damn sparrow and give me
5 seconds of your precious time!
All those other lovers you’ve been spending your time with
I think they’re starting to rub off on you
with their “Punish him!”  “Smite the one who is different”
and frankly, I told him,
I don’t like the way you talk after you’ve been out with them.
You come home to me smelling of brimstone
bring your sword to my bed.
 
So I told him: this is it.
You have to treat my kids with some respect!
Don’t make me choose between you
because you will lose that contest, Mr. High-and -Almighty.
And I want you to be nice to my friends- yes even the ones you think are weirdos-
and will you for Christ’s sake please LOOK at me when I’m talking to you,
Nod, or wave, or end a war or something so I"ll know you're listening!
Because, if you won't, I am done trying with you.
Hell, I can stand here and get ignored by anybody!
 
Yeah, I really had it out with God today.
I'm just wish I knew if he was listening.

Posted by Tracy on Apr 6th 2011 | Filed in Poetry | Comments (2)