Karma
Thoughts while inching along in a traffic jam on I-71 between 161 and Morse Road.
Dear Morons-
The breakdown lane was designed to allow police cars, tow trucks, ambulances, etc. to get around traffic to the scene of an accident and – oh yeah!- for cars that have broken down to pull off the road and out of the way. It was NOT created so that self-centered, entitled, cell-phone chatting jerks like you could drive around all us regular people who are slowly working our way past the obstacle ahead, because YOU are too god-damned important to wait like the rest of us!
The breakdown lane was designed to allow police cars, tow trucks, ambulances, etc. to get around traffic to the scene of an accident and – oh yeah!- for cars that have broken down to pull off the road and out of the way. It was NOT created so that self-centered, entitled, cell-phone chatting jerks like you could drive around all us regular people who are slowly working our way past the obstacle ahead, because YOU are too god-damned important to wait like the rest of us!
Have you considered the possibility that what’s slowing us all down might be a car up around the next curve that’s half-into the breakdown lane, which you are about to crash into? Or that so many of your fellow inconsiderate jerks are bailing into the breakdown lane to get to the exit faster that the breakdown lane is now backing up with traffic (there are lights at the end of every exit ramp) thereby making the breakdown lane as slow-moving as the rest of the freeway?
No, of course you haven’t. You’re too busy merging onto the freeway across the slashed yellow line, nearly smashing into the car ahead of you that tried to merge at the proper time and place. You're too busy trying to scoot around school buses with their "stop" sign out because you don't see any kids getting off yet. You’re too busy leaving your trash all over public parks because after all, they have people who get paid to clean up, right?
My wish for you, as you go through life jumping people in line, talking on your phone in the library, abusing nervous teenaged store clerks and using handicapped parking spaces (because you really really don’t want to walk across the parking lot in the rain and you resent the damn government telling you where you can and cannot park) – my wish is that you will one day come to see the error of your ways and recognize that the world does not, in fact, owe you anything.
Hahaha! Yeah, I was just joking, I know that will never happen. So my actual wish for you is that one day your car will overheat on the freeway and catch on fire, and the firetruck will be unable to reach it in time because some self-absorbed cell-phone gabbing moron will be blocking the breakdown lane.
Have a nice day, creep!
Tracy Meisky is a poet, writer, singer, songwriter and all-around boat rocker from way back. Feel free to look around, but if you break it, you bought it.