An Immovable Object
When I was 5 or 6 years old, on my way to my Grandmother's house, I used to wonder if my home, my friends and my town really continued to exist without me there to see them and touch them and make them real. They said that they did, but it seemed a little hard to believe- all this existence and consciousness going on without me. No doubt Schroedingers cat would claim that he exists even when I don’t look in the box, but who's to say?
When riding in the car I found that if I squinted a little and held my eyes just so it looked as if the car was standing still and the rest of the world went hurtling by: cows and cornfields and trees and towns that popped in and out of existence, Brigadoon-like, only when I was there to see them.
Well, I was only 5, after all.
Eventually my brain grew complex enough in its thinking that I was able to comprehend a world where I was not at the center, not creating each new day simply by opening my eyes.
Eventually my brain grew complex enough in its thinking that I was able to comprehend a world where I was not at the center, not creating each new day simply by opening my eyes.
There are adults who still have not reached this point, who seem strangely bent on destroying what mankind has spent a millennia building. They call themselves "Christian Reconstructionists, …I guess because they want to reconstruct the dark ages.
For them, all learning, all progress in compassion and human rights, practically time itself stopped on the day the Bible was written. Or maybe it was on the day the King James translation was finished….
Uh…you know what- they aren’t very clear on that part, but they are clear that the laws by which everyone in America should be required to live- Catholics, Methodists, Buddhists, agnostics, Jews, everyone- are the laws of their religion.
And if you don’t believe in their religion, that's quite irrelevant. We must all live by the Bible- their Bible- whatever we ourselves believe, because the Bible is infallible. And that means they're right and we're wrong- end of discussion.
And how do we know that the Bible is infallible? Because the Bible says that it’s infallible! Duh!
This reminds me of the way my sisters and I would invent rules for a new game when we were little: someone would shout out an idea for a rule and then add “Everything I say counts! No changes- I say yes! “ And from then on, that was the rule, simply because, well, you said it was.
But at least we were allowed to opt out of the game if we didn’t like the rules. No such choice here. The God of Love, it seems, frowns on choice.
And boy, He practices tough love! Remember, this philosophy is brought to you by the kind of folks who believe that God sends hurricanes to punish promiscuity and an earthquake to punish the descendants of a bunch of slaves who were trying to get free.
Hey, have you ever wondered why didn't God ever punish the people who kept other humans in bondage? By their sin=punishment rationale, shouldn't much of Europe and America lie in ruins by now for the sin of having slaves?
Hey, have you ever wondered why didn't God ever punish the people who kept other humans in bondage? By their sin=punishment rationale, shouldn't much of Europe and America lie in ruins by now for the sin of having slaves?
Silly rabbit- not at all! Reconstructionists actually believe in slavery as a punishment for certain crimes! Because if it was good enough for the unwashed, donkey-riding hordes 3000 years ago, it's good enough for them! But don’t worry, if it's a lesser crime they advocate mere indentured servitude. So you see, they're quite reasonable about it.
I assume slavery and servitude are reserved for small things like petty larceny, coveting, etc. because for the really big crimes, like Homosexuality, they suggest….
Stoning!
Witchcraft? Stoning.
Apostasy? Stoning.
Unruly teenagers? Pick up a rock!
I know it seems a bit harsh, but hey, you’ve probably got lots of other kids (since you're not allowed to use birth control) and anyway, this is what the Bible says. You don't get to vote on the Word of God!
Apostasy? Stoning.
Unruly teenagers? Pick up a rock!
I know it seems a bit harsh, but hey, you’ve probably got lots of other kids (since you're not allowed to use birth control) and anyway, this is what the Bible says. You don't get to vote on the Word of God!
Adulterers? Stone them too!
Wait- are you kidding me?
You know what- you're right: I stand corrected. “Stone women who are not virgins when they marry”.
Whew, that makes a lot more sense! We don't want to have to stone good God-fearing Christian Reconstructionist men who simply can't manage to keep it in their pants! What kind of a world would that be?
Whew, that makes a lot more sense! We don't want to have to stone good God-fearing Christian Reconstructionist men who simply can't manage to keep it in their pants! What kind of a world would that be?
Lest you think they've got a one-track approach, it’s not just stones with these guys. They also approve of beheadings and burning at the stake. But they would prefer stoning because- I am not making this up- stones are free and wouldn't cost the taxpayers anything. Plus it provides a bit of exercise!
So it's a Win-win!
And they insist that people would flock to their theocracies if they stoned a few rock musicians, because "capital punishment is one of the best evangelistic tools of a society".
Wow- It sure is! Who wouldn't want to live in a lnd where people get stones in the public square? It's got to be better than cable!!
And they insist that people would flock to their theocracies if they stoned a few rock musicians, because "capital punishment is one of the best evangelistic tools of a society".
Wow- It sure is! Who wouldn't want to live in a lnd where people get stones in the public square? It's got to be better than cable!!
All this enslaving and beheading of anybody who colors outside the lines isn’t even the best- by which I mean the most mind-blowingly stupid- part. Many Christian Reconstructionists, who I assume are living in the 21st century and flying around in airplanes and surfing the internet for porn just like everyone else, insist that the earth is fixed in space, and doesn’t orbit around the sun. Why the truth is, the sun goes around us.
Uh… (you say, because you’re as dumbfounded as I am) ...what about all that science stuff? What about the Hubble telescope, and Voyager and Rover and all the NASA scientists and mathematicians and all the calculating they have to do to to take into account the whole 'orbiting' thing when they send a robot to Mars or probe to Saturn?
What are you some kind of sick Copernicus freak? 
Everyone knows that's junk science!
(Definition of Junk Science": any fact that that conflicts with my world view.) In their treatises, Reconstructionists assert that there is “clearly no scientific credibility” to these “theories”, by which they mean that the Bible doesn’t say a thing about the Earth revolving.
Everyone knows that's junk science!(Definition of Junk Science": any fact that that conflicts with my world view.) In their treatises, Reconstructionists assert that there is “clearly no scientific credibility” to these “theories”, by which they mean that the Bible doesn’t say a thing about the Earth revolving.
So there you go! I guess that anything in the Bible- like Abraham living to be 500 years old, is science. And anything that isn't in the Bible… isn't. (Wait- does the Bible say anything about iPhones?)
Actually, they say it's a provable fact that the Earth is fixed in place.
What? How can they prove something that's demonstrably false? you ask, because frankly, you're cruising for a stoning, buddy. There are two simple ways.
Proof number one- when you look at the sky, it looks like the stars and the sun move even when you hold still. Aha!
And proof number two: the Bible SAYS that the sun revolves around the Earth.
So of course it does. Because the Bible says it is infallible.
Actually, they say it's a provable fact that the Earth is fixed in place.
What? How can they prove something that's demonstrably false? you ask, because frankly, you're cruising for a stoning, buddy. There are two simple ways.
Proof number one- when you look at the sky, it looks like the stars and the sun move even when you hold still. Aha!
And proof number two: the Bible SAYS that the sun revolves around the Earth.
So of course it does. Because the Bible says it is infallible.
Well… yes, those certainly are brilliant and irrefutable proofs- if you're 5 years old, riding in the station wagon with your sisters, squinting your eyes to make it look like the corn fields are running away from you at 60 miles per hour.
Are these people some lunatic-fringe group? Yes! …and no. Jerry Falwell actually called the whole “fixed earth” idea ridiculous, and in my opinion, if you’re too crazy for Jerry Falwell, you’re probably about a week away from mixing cyanide with your koolaid.
But there are a number of folks on the Religious Right, including some politicians, who think this “Make Jesus the President” thing is a great idea and are probably willing to reconsider the solar system too. For example, Republican talking Ken doll Rand Paul is disturbingly cozy with the Reconstructionists, and they endorse him whole-heartedly. Florida GOP candidate Dan Webster is another.
Eeep!
Oh yes, it’s become quite the thing today to assert that all our problems would be solved if we just stopped worrying about stupid stuff like protecting the environment and "human rights" and just followed the Bible. (Usually they say this right before they demand Barack Obama produce his birth certificate….)
I’m not sure they have really thought this all the way through, though. Think about it: there's nothing in the Bible about the right to own a gun!
But since they seem to have the maturity of a 5 year old, let’s play an imagination game. Let’s imagine that we have decided that we should run the UnitedChurches States of America strictly according to the Bible.
Ok, Let's do it! Jesus all the way! And for the entire nation, I choose… the biblical interpretation of the Amish.
But since they seem to have the maturity of a 5 year old, let’s play an imagination game. Let’s imagine that we have decided that we should run the United
Ok, Let's do it! Jesus all the way! And for the entire nation, I choose… the biblical interpretation of the Amish.
Wow- energy crisis solved! Pollution halted in its tracks! Maybe this IS a good idea!
OK Mr. Reconstructionist, time to turn off the lights, unplug your refrigerator and computer, hand in your car keys and iPhone— Oh come now, stop all that silly screaming! It's undignified. This is what God demands!
Hey, I thought you wanted to live strictly according to the Divine will?! Here's your chance! Now get rid of that shiny watch and all those buttons!
Hey, I thought you wanted to live strictly according to the Divine will?! Here's your chance! Now get rid of that shiny watch and all those buttons!
What's that? You don't believe that God wants to deny you Avatar 3-D? Oh, too bad. You don't get to vote on what God wants- you just have to accept it, like the rest of us heathens. Like all those gay people who don't get to have equal rights because according to you, God says they're not equal. Well according to the Amish, God wants you in suspenders and a straw hat, pronto!
It'll be a big adjustment, but don't worry. You may lose your air conditioning, but you'll learn how to make nice quilts!
It'll be a big adjustment, but don't worry. You may lose your air conditioning, but you'll learn how to make nice quilts!
Strange, but suddenly you aren’t quite so eager to live according to God's will. Well heck, whose idea of God did you think we were going to follow anyway- yours? Oh no, no. We will follow the version of God that I pick. Because after all, the way I see God is right, and you are wrong.
What do you mean, how do you know that I'm right"? Because I just told you I am!
And everything I say counts.
No changes. I say yes.
Think I'm making at least some of this Reconstructionist stuff up? Hope and pray that I am? Sorry- and it's not just some isolated militiamen in the wilds of Montana who subscribe to this.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/9/29/906308/-BREAKING-Graysons-opponent-tied-to-Biblical-Stoning-movement
Tracy Meisky is a poet, writer, singer, songwriter and all-around boat rocker from way back. Feel free to look around, but if you break it, you bought it.