Soapbox

Columbia, NYU, University of Chicago and Brown.
What do these fine institutions all have in common?

They comprise the list of colleges that my lovely daughter informed me this morning that she would like to attend. The first 3 I know are all on the list because they are in big, cosmopolitan cities that KAtie has visited and enjoyed. She informs me that the small-town idyl of a school like O.U. is not for her- oh no! "Bright lights, Big city" is her dream. At least those three are all in places that are pretty cheap to get to from Columbus, so she can go visit and see if they have anything other than population density to recommend them. But Brown?

Brown university….in Rhode Island… ranked 7th in the Ivy League, tuition alone $33,888, this year. Freakin’ Brown? How does it rate the Katie list? An alumna from her high school is currently on the admissions faculty there and gave a talk about Brown’s hallowed halls for the International Baccalaureate juniors, who I guess are the kids most likely to get in. So now, she’d like to go visit there because "it has this amazing curriculum". And of course, even though it isn’t a big city university, she’ll love it. Who wouldn’t? And the thing is, even with only a 15% admission rate, if she puts her mind to it, this amazing kid just might get in. THEN where would we be?
Mortgaging the house for a second and third time, just as her brother is ready for graduate school. ~sigh~

I think it’s just hitting me that my child is talking about, in a little over a year and a half, not only running off with our entire life’s savings, but going far away to do it! Good thing no one from Stanford has come to her school yet, or the University of Hawaii! And I wonder how I’ll cope.

I’m dealing well with the separation from Stephen, even though I still go sit in his room once in a while. When I close my eyes I still can see the bright dinosaurs that no longer frolic on the walls and the toybox full of beanie baby spiders and bats that is in the basement now. I miss the smiling, gentle, tow-headed boy who used to live there, but I’m very fond of the deep-voiced, dark haired man who occasionally comes to stay and eat my peanut butter and jelly. I rarely hear from him while he’s away, but at least I can see him any time I want to drive to Athens and stand on a street corner with free food. I know he’ll turn up eventually.
But now Katie is making plans to cut herself entirely free and soar away… and I’m not ready for it. I thought letting go of my firstborn would prepare me for losing my baby… Not even close, turns out.
Continue Reading »