Soapbox

      So I’ve got this kid…and his nickname is "Boy of Science". Anything that is a fact, he remembers, and animals are his specialty. So when we went to the zoo today, the Boy of Science was in his element.
    Now when it comes to attracting an audience that is the best and brightest humanity has to offer, it is my experience that the zoo is only a step above the  sideshow tent at the State Fair. At nearly every attraction you are treated to the sight of a parent, the primary mentor and shaper of their young child’s mind pointing to the wolverine and saying, "Looky there  Dustin, see the beaver?" or some such pearl of wisdom.

    Ted and I usually just roll our eyes and try to make doubly certain that we check all our facts before we say anything. Lately, though, that hasn’t been necessary because we have the Boy of Science. He genuinely knows more than 80% of the adults visiting the zoo and delights in telling them so.

     "Actually, that is a wolverine," he’ll say, " which is a member of the weasel family, along with badgers, ferrets, stoats and skunks. Oh, and heyenas are weasels too. They are fierce animals and eat mostly carrion…"
     We pull him away from these unsuspecting victims over and over again with the admonition,
    "Stephen, unless someone asks you a question, they don’t really want you telling them all this stuff. "
    "But mom, they don’t know!" he protests, and we suggest that probably that’s because they don’t want to. Lets face it, most folks don’t go to the zoo to learn things; they go to get the kids out of the house for a few hours!

    Well today at the zoo  I noticed that Stephen was lagging behind or foraging ahead most of the time. I figured that, at age nine, he needs a little independence and anyway, he knows the zoo like the back of his hand.  I gave him some leeway. After he spent a long time at one exhibit I asked him, when he rejoined us, if he particularly liked that animal.
           "Well, I had to explain to some people about the difference between horns and antlers, and then I told them about the Okapi because someone thought it was a reindeer, which is ridiculous, and then I told them…"
     Aha! The truth will out! He only wanted to get away from us so that the B.O.S. could prey upon- excuse me, educate,  the uninformed masses without his parents cramping his style!
     I have since decided to just let him have at it, if he really wants to. After all, he always has his facts correct, and as a parent I know that sometimes education has to be force-fed, after all.