Soapbox

Taking Candy from a Baby Sister

August 4th, 1994

So I’ve got this kid…and he got separated from me one day at K-Mart. It was a very scary 7 or 8 minutes for both of us.
I told him that in the future, if he can’t find me in a store, he should go find someone that works at a cash register and tell them that he is lost. He countered that he couldn’t possibly do that because after all, he’s not allowed to talk to strangers. Oh yeah. Hmmm, how to explain this…
So I declared an ammendment to the family Constitution and said that while he should NEVER leave the store with anyone other than me, it’s OK to talk to a stranger if they work at the cash register and if you’re lost. Rather than wander around crying, he should just have me paged.

Lesson learned…too well. Now I can hardly go shopping without getting paged! One day at Frank’s Nursery it happened twice in the same half-hour! I no more than turn around and realize that he isn’t following me before I hear,
"We have a lost boy at the front of the store…" I don’t even wait to hear the name, ’cause I know who it is. I head up to the service counter and there he is, so proud of his resourcefulness that he’s grinning from ear to ear. I’m starting to think he enjoys having me paged!

I finally had to ask him to give himself at least a minute or two to look for me before he runs to the front desk because I’m starting to feel a bit stupid, losing my kid all the time. I have threatened him with a leash if it happens too frequently.
"But Mom, I’m supposed to do that when I get lost, remember?" he asked.
"Of course I remember, Stephen. I just want you to stop getting so cheerfully lost every time we go out! Spend a little more time paying attention while we’re shopping and a little less time with the store manager, would ya?"

Well, this is a boy who takes rules to heart, and sometimes beyond.

After we told him not to talk to strangers, he would turn his head away and ignore even sweet old ladies who said hello at the grocery store. Stephen has always been big on the letter of the law, and utterly clueless when it comes to the spirit. that was when I made the first ammendment to the "no talking to strangers" rule: if you’re standing right with your mother or father, it is safe to say hello to a stranger who talks to you.

Last December we were cruising through a Christmas tree lot one night and Ted and I heard him shout, "No, Katie, no! Run! Run away!" We dashed around a frasier fir and saw him dragginging his little sister across the lot and over to our car, away from a bewildered employee. The poor fellow had approached the kids and offered them candy canes, as he does to all the kids who come to choose a tree. This was the first time he had ever gotten that reaction!
After we’d gotten Stephen settled down and stopped Katie from crying (She really wanted that candy cane!) we apologized to the somewhat embarrassed man. He complimented Stephen on not only remembering his safety lesson but for taking care of his little sister who didn’t know better.

"You know, I never thought about it before, but I think from now on, I’ll give the candy to the parents and let them pass it on to the kids. Otherwise, I guess it is kind of teaching them that it is OK to take candy from strangers."

Time for another ammendment to the Laws of Life: Stephen edition. If you’re with your parents and someone offers you something, just go ask your parents if it is alright to accept it, rather than run screaming into the night.
The things I have to spell out for this child, that seem like common sense to most of the world, are innumerable. On the other hand- he gets math. Go figure.