Soapbox

Late-Night Sing Along

Mom woke completely around 3 AM. She had been restless and apparently fussed with her heart monitor leads to the point that she pulled one of the patches completely off, which sent the nurse in to turn on the light and re-attach it.

I had been dozing off an on in a reclining chair in her room. Having been to this rodeo before, I brought my ipod with me and had music playing so that every beep and chime of her monitor, clunk of a gurney in the hall and restless movement of my mother wouldn't wake me up. It had helped me get a little sleep- but now I was up and so was she.
After the nurse left Mom went back to tossing and turning. I worried that, uncomfortable and unhappy to be back in the hospital again, she wouldn't get back to the sleep she needed. 
   "Mom, would you like to listen to some music?" I asked and walked over to her bed. I scrolled quickly down the list of artists and picked a CD by Jim Malcolm. "This is the guy we toured Scotland with" I said and put the earbuds gently in her ears.

She rolled over and lay quietly, listening to the end while I sat in the chair and tried really hard not to stare obsessively at her heart monitor readings. I hope I never have to have a heart monitor on. The anxiety of worrying that there is something wrong with my heart– that it's too fast or too slow or the T-waves are wrong or something– would for sure make my heart rate go nuts. 

   When I realized the CD was over I got up and scrolled through the list on the iPod again.
   "Oh hey, you might like this one" I said and started it up.
   "This is you, isn't it?" she said with a smile.
I was playing the recording that with my friends Byron and Bill I had made some years ago for our pastor. We called it Come to the Quiet" and it was hymns and other spiritual songs that we found tranquil and uplifting.

I sat back in my chair and tried to quiet my mind to see if I could get a little sleep. Don't worry about her respirations! I chided myself sternly. I was just getting relaxed when I heard a strange sound from the bed. Was she- moaning? Oh no- is something wrong? I sat forward and listened carefully and realized that no- she was… humming.
    "There is a balm… in Gilead…. to make the wounded whole"
Quietly, and a little out of tune (the way you are with ear buds in)  she began to sing along with the recording. She didn't hear me, but I sang with her, because it's something I have always loved to do.
    "Oh that was lovely" she said and smiling, listened to the end. When I started it again with  a CD of a female folk group with wonderful harmonies, she went to sleep almost immediately, and slept deeply.

  So maybe that balm was working.