An Immovable Object
When I was 5 or 6, on my way to my Grandmother's house, I used to wonder if my home, my friends and my town really continued to exist without me there to see them and touch them and make them real. They said that they did, but it seemed a little hard to believe, all this existence and consciousness going on without me. No doubt Schroedingers cat would claim that he exists even when I don’t look in the box, but who's to say?
When riding in the car I found that if I squinted a little and held my eyes just so it looked as if the car was standing still and the rest of the world went hurtling by- cows and cornfields and trees and towns that popped into existence, Brigadoon-like, only when I was there to see them.
Well, I was only 5, after all. Eventually my brain grew complex enough in its thinking that I was able to comprehend a world where I was not at the center, not creating each new day simply by opening my eyes.
There are adults who cannot, who seem strangely bent on destroying what mankind has spent a millennia building. They call themselves "Christian Reconstructionists, I guess because they want to reconstruct the dark ages. For them, all learning, all progress in compassion and human rights, practically time itself stopped on the day the Bible was written. Or maybe it was on the day the King James translation was finished….
You know what- they aren’t very clear on that part, but they are clear that the laws by which everyone in America should be required to live- Catholics, Methodists, Buddhists, agnostics, Jews, everyone- are the laws of their religion.
If you don’t believe in their religion, that's quite irrelevant. We must all live by the Bible, whatever we believe, because the Bible is infallible.
And how do we know this? Because the Bible says that it’s infallible! Duh!
it's kind of the same way my sisters and I would invent rules for a new game: someone would shout out an idea for a rule and then add “Everything I say counts! No changes- I say yes! “ And from then on, that was the rule, simply because, well, you said it was.
But at least we were allowed to opt out of the game if we didn’t like the rules. No such choice here. The God of Love, it seems, frowns on choice.
And boy, do they practice tough love! Remember, this philosophy is brought to you by the folks who believe that God sends hurricanes to punish promiscuity and an earthquake to punish a bunch of slaves who were trying to get free… Say, why didn't God ever punish the slave-owners? Shouldn't much of Europe and America lie in ruins by now for that little sin?
Silly rabbit- not at all! They actually believe in slavery as a punishment for certain crimes! Oh don’t worry, if it's a lesser crime they advocate mere indentured servitude.
Now I assume slavery and servitude are reserved for things like petty larceny, coveting, etc. because for the really big crimes, like Homosexuality….
Stoning!
Witchcraft? Stoning. Apostasy? Stoning. Unruly teenagers? Pick up a rock! I know it seems a bit harsh, but hey, you’ve probably got other kids (since you're not allowed to use birth control) and anyway, this is what the Bible says. You don't get to vote on the Word of God.
Adulterers? Stone them too!
Wait- are you kidding me?
Whoops- you're right: I stand corrected. “Stone women who are not virgins when they marry”. Whew, that makes a lot more sense!
It’s not just stones with these guys: they also approve of beheadings and burning at the stake. But they would prefer stoning because- I am not making this up- stones are free and wouldn't cost the taxpayers anything. Plus it provides a bit of exercise! Win-win.
All this enslaving and beheading of anybody who colors outside the lines isn’t even the best- by which I mean the worst- part. Christian Reconstructionists, who I assume are living in the 21st century and flying around in airplanes and surfing the internet for porn just like everyone else, insist that the earth is fixed in space, and doesn’t orbit around the sun. In fact, the sun is the one going around us.
Uh… (you say, because you’re as dumbfounded as I am) …what about all that science stuff? What about the Hubble telescope, and all the NASA scientists and mathemeticans and all the calculating they have to do to send a robot to Mars in order to take into account the whole orbiting thing?
What are you some kind of crazy Copernicus freak? 
Everyone knows that's junk science! In their treatises, Reconstructionists assert that there is “clearly no scientific credibility” to these “theories”, by which they mean that the Bible doesn’t say anything about the Earth revolving. So there you go!
They say it's actually is a proveable fact that the Earth is fixed in place. How do they prove it? There are two simple ways, oh Doubting Thomas. Proof number one- when you look at the sky, it looks like the stars and the sun move even when you hold still. Aha! And proof number two: the Bible SAYS that the sun revolves around the Earth.
Everyone knows that's junk science! In their treatises, Reconstructionists assert that there is “clearly no scientific credibility” to these “theories”, by which they mean that the Bible doesn’t say anything about the Earth revolving. So there you go!They say it's actually is a proveable fact that the Earth is fixed in place. How do they prove it? There are two simple ways, oh Doubting Thomas. Proof number one- when you look at the sky, it looks like the stars and the sun move even when you hold still. Aha! And proof number two: the Bible SAYS that the sun revolves around the Earth.
Well yes, those certainly are brilliant and irrefutable proofs- if you're 5 years old, riding in the station wagon with your sisters, squinting your eyes to make it look like the corn fields are running away from you at 60 miles per hour.
Are these folks a lunatic-fringe group? Yes! …and no. Jerry Falwell actually called the whole “fixed earth” idea ridiculous, and if you’re too crazy for Jerry Falwell, you’re probably about a week from mixing cyanide with your koolaid.
But there are a number of folks on the Religious Right, including some politicians, who think this “Make Jesus the President” thing is a great idea and are probably willing to reconsider the solar system too. For example, Republican talking Ken doll Rand Paul is disturbingly cozy with the Reconstructionists, and they endorse him whole-heartedly.
Eeep!
Oh yes, it’s become quite the thing today to assert that all our problems would be solved if we just stopped worrying about stupid stuff like protecting the environment and "human rights" and just followed the Bible. (Usually they say this right before they demand Barack Obama produce his birth certificate….)
I’m not sure they have really thought this all the way through, though. (I mean, there's nothing in the Bible about the right to own a gun!) But since they seem to have the maturity of a 5 year old, let’s play an imagination game. Let’s imagine that we have decided that we should run the United Churches States of America strictly according to the Bible. And I choose… the biblical interpretation of the Amish.
(Wow- energy crisis solved! Pollution halted in its tracks! Maybe this IS a good idea!)
OK Mr. Reconstructionist, time to turn off the lights, unplug your refrigerator and computer, hand in your car keys and iphone— Oh come now, stop all that silly screaming! This is what God demands! I thought you wanted to live strictly according to the Divine will?! Now hand over those buttons!
What's that? You don't believe that God wants to deny you Avatar 3-D? Too bad. You don't get to vote on what God wants. Don't worry, you may lose your air conditioning, but you'll learn how to make nice quilts.
Strange, suddenly you aren’t quite so eager! Well whose idea of God did you think we were going to follow anyway- yours? Oh no. We will follow the version of God that I pick. Because after all, I'm right, and you're wrong.
What do you mean, how do you know that I'm right"? Because I just told you I am!
And everything I say counts.
No changes. I say yes.
Tracy Meisky is a poet, writer, singer, songwriter and all-around boat rocker from way back. Feel free to look around, but if you break it, you bought it.